I wonder...

Here is a list of things I worry about:  my health, my finances, my mom, my children, my thinning hair, my memory, world events, Texas government, health insurance, wars, our dysfunctional federal government, civil rights for all, the environment, disasters, religious fundamentalism, blah blah quack quack.

Some of these things I worry about more than the others.  My worry often takes the form of an urgent voice in my head that asks, “What should I do?  What should I do?  What should I do?  How can I fix this?”  The implication is, “it’s up to me, it’s up to me, it’s up to me!”  Wears me out.

Lately I’ve latched on to a new approach that I find more productive. And, ironically, it is also more relaxing.

Instead of worrying about what is going to happen, and what I should do to make things happen the way I think they should, I am practicing curiosity instead.  It goes something like this:

- I wonder how this will turn out?

 -Wow, I didn’t expect this—I wonder what will come of it?

- Oh this is interesting—where on earth will it lead? 

-She’s in a pickle—I’m curious how she handles this.

- I’m keeping an eye on this situation—I don’t have a clue what should happen.

-Whoa!  I didn’t see this coming—hold on, no telling what is coming next!

-Ok Robyn, wait and see what you are prompted to do now.

Curiosity feels so much better than worry, and why not?  I did not create all these situations; I did not even create myself.  I’m not in charge of the world; there is little I can control.  I can certainly do my part, but I don’t always know what my part is.  I’m curious about that too. 

Every one of us has built into our Being a loving, wise presence, a Voice of Loving Kindness that knows how to solve all kinds of dilemmas.  Curiosity invites me to turn to that Presence and say, "now what? I always get such a kick watching how you transform problems!" 

How it feels to ask, “what am I going to do about this?” is very different from “I wonder what I’m going to do about this?  I wonder what creative solutions are going to pop into my head, and when?  I wonder who is going to show up to help me?  This is all such a mystery!"

Worrying is always non-productive.  Curiosity opens doors, windows, peepholes, and kernels, and allows for nuggets, flashes, hunches,  nudges, and awarenesses to reveal themselves to me.

I wonder what people will think of this?

Retreat, retreat, retreat

I'm excited.  We all know I'm a big proponent of "stepping out" of your life in order to breathe, gain perspective, slow down, think, stop thinking, unclench, and (as most women will understand) let your belly go soft.

I have been invited to facilitate a women's contemplative retreat at the end of May.   It is such a privilege to join folks who have made the conscious decision to drive away from their daily life for a weekend dedicated to touching Reality.  We will spend time getting quiet.  We sill spend time telling the truth as best we know it.  We will listen and trust.  Oh, and we will eat delicious food.

I do not have to wait until the retreat is ending to thank the women who "stepped out."  I can already thank them because I know what lies ahead.

Never mind, no matter...

Sometimes I feel disappointed and discouraged.  Sometimes I feel tired and weary, and almost but not quite, hopeless.

Recently during such a time, I “heard” the following:

Feel our hands kneading your neck and shoulders,

Feel our presence in the quiet.

Too often you allow yourself to slip into “feeling alone.”

Never mind, no matter,

The truth always resurfaces,

You always return and allow us to soothe and heal.

We would point out that these painful periods are needless,

But you know that.

Never mind, no matter.

Now is now and you know what you know,

You’ve been where you’ve been,

Your resistance to our tender mercy grows weaker,

Your skepticism is less convincing.

Never mind, no matter.

Truth is true, Love is love,

Pain dissolves, optimism returns, and

Equilibrium is restored 

Just as dependably as the sun rising and setting.

Stepping Out Groups - one week from today!

If you haven't already registered for one of the spring Stepping Out groups, please do so now.  We begin the evening group one week from today!

Send an email to robyn0623@gmail.com, or give me a call.

As always, if you want to participate but the fee is beyond your budget, contact me so we can work something out...I want you to be there.

Spring Stepping Out Groups

An Invitation to Join a

SPRING STEPPING OUT GROUP

Led by Robyn Whyte

Evening Group – Monday evenings 7:00-8:30

                             Beginning April 18 for nine weeks

Daytime Group – Wednesday mornings 10:30-12:00

                             Beginning April 20 for nine weeks

A Stepping Out group provides the opportunity for you to “step out” of your daily life and join with a small group of people who commit to explore the spiritual dimension of their lives.  Members need not share the same religion or beliefs; they only need share a desire for a deeper experience of God, Life, Love, Spirit, the Ultimate Mystery.

Group participation is confidential, sacred and organic.  My role is to begin each session with a guided meditation and then facilitate honest discussion and exploration of the Inner Journey.

The cost is $30 per session with the understanding that you will miss no more than two sessions out of the nine and that you will pay for any additional missed sessions.  The group experience suffers when you don’t come!

We will read Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual by Henri Nouwen as a springboard for discussion; Stepping Out groups are NOT book discussion groups, but rather an intimate small group experience of sharing and exploring. 

To register, send me an email to me at robyn0623@gmail.com.

It matters what we believe...

Reading the following poem by Sophia Lyon Fahs recently moved and encouraged me. 

IT MATTERS WHAT WE BELIEVE

Some beliefs are like walled gardens.

They encourage exclusiveness, and the feeling of being especially privileged.

Other beliefs are expansive and lead the way into wider and deeper sympathies.

Some beliefs are like shadows, clouding children’s days with fears of unknown calamities.

Other beliefs are like sunshine, blessing children with the warmth of happiness.

Some beliefs are divisive, separating the saved from the unsaved, friends from enemies.

Other beliefs are bonds in a world community, where sincere differences beautify the pattern.

Some beliefs are like blinders, shutting off the power to choose one’s own direction.

Other beliefs are like gateways opening wide vistas for exploration.

Some beliefs weaken a person’s selfhood.  They blight the growth of resourcefulness.

Other beliefs nurture self-confidence and ignite the feeling of personal worth.

Some beliefs are rigid, like the body of death, impotent in a changing world.

Other beliefs are pliable, like the young sapling, ever growing with the upward thrust of life.

A prevailing theme in A Course in Miracles is that it really, really matters what you believe, that your beliefs determine how you see the world, and how you see other people in the world.  I have little expectation that our world political leaders will discover Ms. Fahs’ poem and drop “some beliefs” for “other beliefs,” thus changing the world into a kinder, gentler place.

My hope lies in those of us who wake up each day to tend the children, go to work, get the car fixed, and make a grocery run on the way home to prepare supper and watch American Idol.  My hope lies with those of us who, additionally, periodically and consistently step out of the daily grind to ponder what Life means and examine our beliefs.  As more of us regular folk become more enlightened, moving in the direction of being for more and against less, all of our experience will soften around the edges.

I will be offering a Spring Stepping Out group very soon, an invitation to join a small group of “regular folks” who want to step out once a week and explore our beliefs.  Stay tuned…

Thoughts

Thoughts fall within my consciousness

Like raindrops from an unknown source,

The majority of which go unnoticed.

There exists somewhere, hidden from sight,

A chooser, who day and night,

Pronounces ignore this, ignore that,

Latch on to this, chew on that,

Disbelieve this, swoon over that,

Grind your teeth as you mull this,

Smile to yourself but don’t let this sink in.

Thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts

Most not compelling enough to consider.

Some provoking the most intense emotions

Grabbing at the heart, or clawing in the gut.

Who sends these thoughts my way?

How does the chooser remain just outside my vision?

The thought shower never ceases,  and

The chooser is always on high alert.

Grab this one, dismiss that one,

Resist this one but fail,

Hold on to this one as you watch it slip away,

Follow this one into despair,

The same one that tickled your fancy yesterday.

Thoughts, never-ending thoughts,

Peppering my mind at random

Placing me at their mercy

Until I lean back and merely watch.

American Values

Just yesterday my insightful husband, John, commented that today in America it seems that the patriotic thing to do is hold grievances.  The criteria for determining who is a "real" American is largely based on who one holds in disdain.

Workbook Lesson 68 in A Course in Miracles is titled, "Love Holds No Grievances," and states, "to hold a grievance is to forget who you are."  I agree that in America today a bunch of us have forgotten who we are.

Here's a checklist.  Who do you hold in disdain?

Republicans, Democrats, homeless people, Muslims, union members, Catholics, gay people, Hispanics, foreigners, certain foreigners, people who won't learn English, non-Christians, Christians, fat people, prostitutes, rich and famous movie/rock stars, wealthy people, the Clintons, the Bushes, pedophile priests, pro-lifers, poor blacks, people on welfare, people who want universal healthcare, apolitical folks, evangelicals, Mormons, alcoholics and drug addicts, people who use Botox, people who cut in traffic, people who refuse vaccinations, tele-marketers, Jehovah's Witnesses, Yankees, Bible thumpers, male chauvinists, child abusers, the unemployed, politicians, people who swear, thin people, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Jon Stewart, Rachel Maddow, Charlie Sheen, or Jesus?

I may have left a few choices out, but you get my drift.  Here is what I'm asking myself: why must I hold a grievance against you for disagreeing with me?  Why must I hold a grievance against you because you have made what I believe is a "grievous" mistake?  Why would I shut anyone out of my heart knowing that when I do, I forget who I am?

So many of us are walking around America carrying grievances that we can't even see each other, much less remember who we are.  I hear our leaders talking about "spreading American values."   How can we spread something we don't remember ourselves?

Upcoming opportunities

The six week small group experience that has been meeting on Monday evenings will soon come to an end.  What a privilege it is for me to accompany fellow pilgrims seeking a more contemplative and yet practical approach to life in 2011!

Each week we begin our time together with a guided meditation that leads to a time of silent meditation.  Following the silence, participants share their experience of the meditation, or of their week, or of the challenges and victories in their daily life.  Judgment is left outside the door as the group listens with the heart to stories that so much resemble their own.  Each week is new and fresh, open to any and all possibilities.

After a brief pause, I will be offering a new group experience for those interested in returning or beginning this unique experience.  Though we will use a book as a guide to our communal thoughts between groups sessions, the group is not a book discussion group.  It is more akin to group spiritual therapy, with everyone participating.  I serve as the facilitator and sometime provocateur.

I would love to offer this group experience for those of you who prefer to meet during the day as well if there is sufficient interest.  Let me know!

Also, there has been a request for a day-long meditative retreat on a Saturday!  I love this idea and will begin planning, and in the interest of choosing a space, would appreciate some feedback on who might be interested in this experience.

I love this work and am open to suggestions or requests.  As always, I am available for private appointments either in person or by phone.

Language

There was a period of many years in my life when I would not utter the word, “God.”  When I spoke of that concept at all I used terms like “the Universe,” or “All That Is, or “Love.”  I rejected “the God of the Bible,” and moved on.  I rejected then and still do the notion that “accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior,” was the only path to salvation.  I rejected then and still do the idea that Christianity is the only “true” religion.

Today, however, I find myself enthralled by God, Jesus, Christ,  Father, Son,  and the Holy Spirit .  When asked today if I am Christian I hesitate and usually ask, “define Christian first, and then I will respond.”  Nevertheless, Christianity is in my DNA; it is my heritage; it is the language I grew up with.  The years spent attempting to deny my Christian identity were instructive and valuable, but did not, alas, eradicate my roots.

The primary, but not only, teaching in my life is A Course in Miracles.  It is chock full of references to God, Jesus, Christ and the Holy Spirit.  When I began reading the Course in 1982 I squirmed at all the references to Bible characters, Bible terms…terms like forgiveness, salvation, redemption, holiness, or brother.  I told myself I could overlook all that and still benefit from its metaphysical teaching.  I was correct—it takes a little work to overlook so much, but it can be done.

As I read the ACIM Text from beginning to end for the fifth time, God and Christ, the Holy Spirit, Inner Teacher, forgiveness and salvation are singing to me.  As I welcome those concepts back into my consciousness my worldview changes.  It feels like home.  And those concepts best express what I am experiencing.

For years I have associated myself with spiritual groups and organizations that eschew these Christian terms and concepts in order to signify that all seekers are welcome and that no one path is touted as The One.  I wholeheartedly concur. 

Though I have studied and greatly benefited from teachings from Judaism, Sufism, Buddhist philosophy, and various eclectic metaphysical texts, I remain Christian at heart while respecting other religions and the followers who adhere to them.  The language of Christianity does not and cannot contain all truth. 

My groups and classes are open to anyone of any faith tradition, or none. But with those who at some point in their life threw their western Christian baby out with the bath water I feel a close connection.  The expression, “recovering Christian fundamentalist” has been aptly applied to me for more than 30 years.  The recovery just keeps on keeping on.