Yesterday the Paris Community Choir performed our spring concert. I have so enjoyed singing in a choir once again. There are some really good singers in this choir, far better than I. There are a few scattered among our alto section who have near perfect pitch. I try to stand by one of those. I have often stated, “I’m not always on the right pitch, but at least I know when I’m off.” When I know I’m off tune I start lip singing until I find the right note and rejoin the choir.
It seems to me this idea of perfect pitch also applies to personal integrity. As with singing, I may not always be “right on,” but I usually know when I’m off and usually have the same response: I hunker down, shut up and try to find the right key once again.
Like now. I’m off and I know I’m off. I feel confused, disturbed, out of sorts--not quite in tune. I don’t feel entirely comfortable in my own skin and suspect I am projecting out there something other than is true in here.
Nothing, in my experience, feels better than authentically and confidently standing tall in my own boots, let the devil take the hindmost! But, alas, it can’t be faked! Faking integrity is an oxymoron; it just won’t preach.
So recently I’ve been going through the motions, hitting a few wrong notes, trying to find my way. Fortunately, this is not my first rodeo! I know I’ll find a newer, truer path (to mix metaphors), a new song that expresses who I am becoming. In the meantime, you might want to cover your ears.