I have a more than passing interest in the nature of power. I majored in political science in college not because I had any interest in governments but because I wanted to better understand power. Attending college after having just emerged from a broken marriage, I felt powerless.
I crave power, and at the same time fear it. Acutely aware of its ability to corrupt and abuse, I dance around power gingerly. When I feel overly powerful I become frightened and find ways to deflate myself; when I feel powerless I resort to manipulation and subterfuge.
Having been told over the years that I have a "powerful personality," I struggle with inept attempts at containing myself. At times I tamp myself down in order to blend in, and at other times I'm a bull in a china shop. Every now and then I find a comfortable balance that feels authentic.
My internal war with power most often plays out in my marriage, but that is a topic for another day. Most recently it messed with my head at work, and I'm still trying to sort it all out. Another example of Life being a classroom!
Bob Lively once said there are only 2 kinds of power: political power and spiritual power. Political power is very tricky; spiritual power is rock solid. My quest is to handle the first with grace and to accept the second as my salvation.
Hey Robyn. Power is interesting, especially in organizations where one is almost pushed to exert it and looked down on if you choose not to. At work, power feels "clean" to me when it is used to accomplish a legitimate goal, most other times it feels illigitimate to me. Can't wait to talk with you about it and wanted to reply to you directly that I would love to see you in October. Sue
ReplyDeleteHi Sue! I really appreciate your comment on the legitimate use of power. I know you know whereof you speak. I hope more folks jump in with their thoughts, especially folks who have been within and without hierarchical organizations.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited about October -- right now I plan to be there.