Spiritual Travel

I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I have never owned a passport because I have never gone anywhere that requires one.  I am not a world traveler.  A passport enables a sojourner to enter into countries and cultures that are foreign, unfamiliar and perhaps uncomfortable.  Stepping into unfamiliar terrain changes one forever; it opens doors of consciousness and awareness that broaden one’s view of our world.

Though I have not had that experience geographically, I have travelled, spiritually, miles and miles from my “hometown” Christian fundamentalist religion.  I find myself almost evangelical about the tremendous benefit I have gained from journeys into unfamiliar spiritual/religious territory.

Just as seasoned world travelers likely look at me, she who has never been farther than Hawaii, with compassion approaching pity I find myself having similar feelings for people who have yet to venture beyond their childhood religion.  I am convinced that thousands of such folk are perfectly content to remain rooted in a legalistic, fundamentalist Christianity, and I respect their choice.  On the other hand, I so want Biblical literalists to know there is an alternative way to embrace faith that opens doors and windows of consciousness and love, revealing an ever-expanding view of God and humankind.

When I was in my 20’s a psychotherapist asked me what I really wanted to do.  I heard myself saying things like, “I want to encourage other people.  I want to exhort people to never give up, to trust in a Higher Good, to believe in themselves….”  He looked at me and said, “You want to be an evangelist.”  I cringed and thought no, no, no.   He was so right.

I want to encourage people whose childhoods were similar to mine to find the willingness to explore, venture out, try the waters of unfamiliar religions, philosophies, and spiritualties until they land in the terrain of authenticity rather than orthodoxy, and then go deeper and wider.  I’m passionate about it.

If you should see me standing on a soapbox on the corner of the square, please stop and say hi, and then call my husband to come get me.

A Course in Miracles

I discovered A Course in Miracles in 1986, and everything changed.  I had rejected my fundamentalist upbringing, including the Bible, but not my faith in God.  I had recently read Chop Wood, Carry Water, which included a suggested reading list.  A Course in Miracles was on that list. 

For the last 26 years I have had a tumultuous relationship with ACIM.  Some of it I still do not understand; not sure I agree with all of it, or perhaps I’m not yet able to grasp all of its radical implications.

I have participated in numerous ACIM study groups and when I needed support I saw a therapist steeped in ACIM theology.  Though I’ve not been able to fully grasp ACIM, ACIM has grasped me.

Here are a few life changing ACIM truths, in my words:

God only loves

God does not punish, not ever.

Jesus is my elder brother, showing me what is possible.

Forgiveness is the key to salvation.

Salvation has nothing to do with the afterlife, but with this moment, right now.

Every human is an extension of God, endowed with a trustworthy Inner Teacher.

I cannot ultimately screw anything up; there is nothing forgiveness can’t heal.

I am as God created me.

A Course in Miracles is not for everybody; it clearly states there are many paths to God.  It does not disparage any religious tradition nor claim to be The One True Way.  I am, however, profoundly grateful that it found me.

Left Behind

Unless you change your ways

You will be left behind.

Unless you deny your reality

You will be left behind.

Until you see truth as I see truth

You will be left behind.

All of us have heard those warnings,

All children hear this message,

No one has escaped the threat of

Being left behind, thus

All of us know its pain.

Ethnic minorities have been left behind

Indigenous people have been left behind

Women have been left behind

Children have been left behind

Poor people have been left behind

Gay people have been left behind

Losers have been left behind

Religious minorities have been left behind

Atheists have been left behind

The question of who’s in and who’s out, however,

Has no theological basis,

Communities and tribes can debate whom to exclude,

Humans seem compelled to leave some behind.

God, on the other hand, cannot and does not,

God being God.

When I allow God access to my heart, and

I see one whose turn it is to feel left behind

I can reach out.

When I allow God access to my heart, and

I see a group of people who feel left behind

I can step out and stand beside them.

Oh God, please, open my heart.

Love

People respond to Love, and

React to everything else.

All people are defended, on guard, alert,

Except when Love breaks through.

Everyone yearns, longs, waits and hopes

For a drink of Love.

There is no one who, having drunk, does not forget

And thirst again.

Love always loves

Love is in the air, and yet

We habitually hold our breath

Until Love makes us gasp.

Every prayer, spoken or unspoken,

Leans toward Love, invites Love.

Love is, Love does, Love has, Love will.

My bible

My childhood and early adulthood were drenched in the Bible, so much so that I have spent most of the years following unlearning skewed Bible teaching so that I could live more freely and more lovingly.  Honesty and integrity became and remain far more important to me than righteousness.  Moment by moment salvation from fear and distrust became and remain far more important to me than where I go after I die.  Loving others and myself is far more important to me than morality.

I have reached a point in my life where I can honestly say I don’t care what the Bible says.  I really don’t.  

Here are my bullet points:

·               God is Love; Love is God

·               The raw materials for Love come packaged in every human

·               No one is left out or exempt from Love, no one.

·               I don’t have to get it right; I just have to say, “yes.”

·               If I don’t say “yes” in this lifetime it is my loss and my right

·               Atheism is fine and can be healthy; shutting one’s heart to Love, however, is quite painful.

People change...

When I was a child I believed:

1.         God dictated the Bible, word for word, and it was literal truth.

2.         There was one true church, and I was a card carrying member.  The rest were false.

3.         Black people were not like “us.”

4.         For the good of society, men should lead; women should follow men’s guidance.  Strong women could only lead other women or children.

5.         Sex was to be enjoyed only by married couples.  Singles should remain celibate their entire lives.

6.         Homosexuals were very strange and very sinful.  It should be noted that I was probably a teen-ager before I even knew what a homosexual was.

7.         Divorced people were weak, selfish and lacked sufficient fortitude to keep a promise.

Today I believe:

1.         Humans wrote the Bible, inspired by their understanding of God at the time.  Little of it is literal truth or accurate history; much of it is poetry, metaphor and mysticism.

2.         There is One True Church, and we are all members of it, every one of us.

3.         Our relegating any ethnic group of people as “other” is heartbreaking.

4.         Are you kidding me?

5.         Sex is a natural expression of the human need for connection and pleasure and should be enjoyed by responsible, respectful adults.

6.         I wholeheartedly support gay marriage.

7.         I fully understand divorce and society’s need for it.

I cite these examples for one purpose; to demonstrate that people can and do change.  I am living proof that people can evolve, grow, question, seek and find. Because of these changes of heart and mind, and many more like them, I understand there are beliefs and attitudes I hold today that are wrong, or at best, immature.  Thus, to argue vociferously for the absolute rightness of any position I now hold would be to risk having to backtrack later.  Some of you knew me back when and know of what I speak.

If I know this to be true of me, I assume it is also true of you.  I assume it is true of President Obama and of Mitt Romney.  People can learn and change; I know this for a fact.  Societies can evolve and progress.  Cultures can adapt and expand. 

The God I know today, though he may not have dictated the Bible, is a powerful force in the hearts and minds of people.  He does not need me to argue my position in the town square.  He needs me to trust what I know.

We are bigger than we act...

I am gratified by the SCOTUS decision on the Affordable Care Act.  I would actively support a single payer system if it were on the table.  When it comes to health care, I lean way left.

That said, I feel genuine compassion for so many Americans who are convinced that the ACA will bankrupt our nation, lead us down the road to socialism, and irreparably castrate America, as they understand America.  I know how they feel, because I felt the exact same despair when Citizens United was upheld by SCOTUS.  I will support any effort to overturn the Citizens United decision, as Mitt Romney is vowing to do with ACA.

The rhetoric on both sides of these and other contentious issues is out of bounds, and certainly beyond anyone’s definition of Love.  Talk is cheap and often meaningless.  Love is expensive and priceless. 

My fears are no more or less valid than yours,

My causes and concerns do not pre-empt yours.

When you stand on the other side waving your

Placard at my placard, I can still choose to love you.

When the sun sets, when calm is restored at the end of the day

I can pray with you, knowing our prayer is the same….

Let wisdom, truth and love prevail.

Marriage

Have I ever mentioned that I find marriage difficult?  Certainly my own history demonstrates my personal struggle with the institution.

It dawned on me recently, however, that my perspective has been skewed.  The truth is not so much that marriage is hard but that I am hard on marriage.  Talk about high maintenance!  That would be me.

No one believed she was better prepared to be a “Christian wife and mother” than I at the ripe age of 20.  I had been trained by the church my entire life in addition to having great parents as role models.  I understood the marriage thing!  (This is where I pause while blushing and allow a moment of compassion for myself.)

My naiveté and self-righteousness obscured for far too long how difficult I am to live with.  I am rough on husbands!

I mention all this now because as I grow older and wiser I find I have tremendous empathy for couples.  My heart goes out to any two adults who embark upon the journey of lifelong committed, monogamous, honest, supportive relationship.  I have even more compassion for couples stumbling along the way, doubting themselves and one another. Marriage has challenged me in ways I never imagined, and often I failed to meet the challenge.  I’m not very good at it.

Nevertheless, I find persevering and trusting in a lifetime commitment to be an exquisite classroom for self-discovery, faith and trust, compassion and loyalty, honesty and transparency, humanity.  Marriage has benefitted me far more than I have ever benefitted it. Though I no longer believe in saving any marriage if by doing so honesty and integrity are sacrificed, I continue to have great respect for those who are willing to work at it until it is obvious that the next step to regaining or preserving personal integrity is divorce.

I’m interested in your thoughts and experiences.  Has your experience of marriage been easy and comfortable?  Or, like me, has marriage pushed and prodded you, frightened and challenged you, and revealed that you are not who you thought you were?

Specialness

The commencement speech recently given by David McCullough at Wellesley High School has caused quite a stir.  In the speech he tells the graduates that they “are not special.”  That is not, of course, all that he said to them.  He went on to inspire them to be contributors rather than stars.

Some day I may write a book called, You’re Not Special; I’m Not Special.  Since I first read A Course in Miracles’ premise that most human misery derives from the egotistical need to be special I’ve been intrigued by the profound contrast between specialness and uniqueness.

No one is, or should be, special; all of us are, and must be, unique.  I do not want to be recognized or acknowledged for my specialness, but for my uniqueness.  My uniqueness is God-given; I can’t take credit.  My yearning for specialness is ego-driven and separates me from others.

Authenticity, when it exists, springs from a person’s uniqueness.  So often, though, our addiction to specialness causes us, usually unconsciously, to attempt multiple and varied manuevers to “improve upon” our unique selves so that we will be treated as special.  Never works, not for long.

I hope the graduates at Wellesley understand the significance of the gift they received from Mr. McCullough.  I suspect most of them will soon forget, and embark on the quest to become “somebody special.”  My hope for each of them is that they will have true friends along the way who appreciate their individuality while chuckling at their misguided attempts to be, and be treated, as special.

Bullet Points 6-5-2012

1.               I am uncomfortable with public prayer, as in folks bowing their heads, holding hands and praying out loud In restaurants.  I am grateful for every morsel I put in my mouth, but public piety makes me inwardly cringe.
   
   
   ·               More to the point, my views on prayer itself have changed.  I am uncomfortable with groups of people holding hands and praying, or not holding hands and praying, or being led in prayer by one person.  I love shared moments of silence. 
   
   
   ·               Conversation can be prayer. I love and am inspired by conversation, one on one or in small groups, about what is important in Life--God, Love, forgiveness, authenticity, integrity, Truth, truth, justice, fairness, compassion, responsibility, relationships--you get the idea.
   
   
   ·               I would rather not know a politician’s religion. 
   
   
   ·               Having lived in cities most of my life, I am still amazed at how comfortable and “at home” I feel in Paris, Texas.  Had I been living a lie?  It reminds me of the stories I heard from my father about growing up in Runge, Texas, and visiting my grandmother there.  It’s nostalgic.
   
   
   ·               I love to counsel, you know, to mind other people’s business and give advice.  Only by request, of course, or at least, usually.  Even more fun and energizing is counseling small groups of people who long for deeper authenticity and congruity in their daily life.
   
   
   ·               I don’t understand why liberal Catholics remain Catholic.  I am disturbed by the Vatican’s “crackdown” on American nuns, but more disturbed that the nuns feel a continued loyalty to the Vatican.  I am really uncomfortable with patriarchy.